Mid-year Update

Vulnerable Post Incoming!

I was going to quit writing.

For longer than I can remember, all I've wanted to do is write. First for love, because how could I not write? It's my number one passion in life. Then, I thought I could someday make a living doing this thing that I love, and it's been hard. Especially in the last few years, life has been so damn hard, and the needle that is my writing career has refused to move forward despite all of my efforts.

This year, after one too many rejections and one too many risks not panning out the way I'd hoped it would, and that final door slammed shut in my face, I had what I thought must be an epiphany: I must not be meant to live the author life of my dreams, one of the few chosen to make a living doing this thing. The signings. The deals. The fans. The recognition. Because surely it wouldn't be this hard if I was on the right path! For years, it felt like everything under the sun was thrown my way to stop me from being consistent.

Health problems, financial struggles, loss, rejections... In that moment, I thought it all made sense. The reason that life was so resistant against this idea of me as a successful author was because I'm not meant to be author, right? It had to be.

And even though the thought that I'd wasted the last 13 years of my life learning the craft, publishing, marketing, searching for representation, trying to build a fanbase, etc. made me sick (and it hurt my heart, not gonna lie), I convinced myself it was time to give it all up. I was tired and burnt out and discouraged.

There were a few final things I'd put myself out there for, for help with visibility that might help readers find me and boost sales, but I didn't think they'd work. I prayed for clarity and said that if I'm not chosen for either of these things, then I'm done. Maybe I'll start a business or something that would help me get out of the 9-to-5 grind. Maybe it'll be easier this time.

I was gonna give up everything. And then I opened my email the other day and saw that I had, in fact, been chosen.

The BookLife Report featured Hunted in their June spotlight for Crime/Thriller books from indie authors! I almost cried. Some people might think this feature is just a small thing, so why am I making such a big deal out of it. I hate to say it, but this small WIN is the best thing that has happened in my writing career thus far, so I take it and celebrate it.

The BookLife Report feature was just the clarity and sign I was desperate for. It told me I am on the right path. I don't have to give it all up. And maybe, just maybe, things are going to get so much better from here.

Until next time,

Jessamyn